It's All in Your Head

Okay...are you ready for this one?  I've had a powerful moment of realization that all of my problems, difficulties, frustrations, and bad moods...are due to my own thinking.  Nothing more...nothing less.  Hmmmmm.  That's a tough one.


Of course, I've heard other people say this before....Byron Katie, Michael Singer, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer....but until now, it was something I read about but hadn't honestly understood and believed whole heartedly myself.   It couldn't really all be in my head!   Some of it must really be about someone or something else.  Right?


I was in class the other day and feeling pretty irritated by basically everything.   My body hurt so I was frustrated that I was given this tight, totally inflexible body.   "I want one of those beautiful flexible bodies that can do a gorgeous Standing Bow or Standing Head to Knee!!!"  "I want strong knees so I can do Toe Stand again!"  Then I started getting irritated at the environment in the room...one minute it was too hot the next minute not hot enough...when would she turn on the fans.  I'm sure you can guess what came next...the teacher.   She was irritating me with all of her "motivational" and "educational" talks during class!  I did not want to hear it!  Okay...now that's when I realized...it was all ME.  I know that every single teacher at Bikram Yoga Ottawa loves Bikram yoga, loves teaching and really loves helping the students....so if I was irritated...it was my own fault.  Now in the past, I would normally just try to block out the thoughts....resist them, or have a conversation with myself about why my thoughts were wrong....etc.  But this time it was different.  Right there in the middle of class, it occurred to me that I was uncomfortable (and of course, I was supposed to be...this is Bikram Yoga after all) and my mind was trying hard to find a solution or a way out or anything other than facing the fact that my body was uncomfortable in that moment!   It was so simple!   So I settled down and recognized that every time an irritated thought came into my head it was just my brain trying to sort out this environment I was in.  I didn't need to listen to it.  I just lovingly noticed what it was doing and brushed it aside.  Focus on the posture, focus on my breath, and focus on myself in the mirror.


I also had the realization that this was a perfect example of what happens in my own life as well.  When I am in an uncomfortable or unusual circumstance that doesn't feel "good" to me, my mind rushes around trying to blame someone (usually myself) or something in an effort to make the feeling go away.  Moving to Ottawa has given my mind plenty of opportunities to be "uncomfortable" so you can imagine what's been going on inside my head!  LOL  

Just one moment in Bikram yoga allowed me to see this.  It was a there in a flash but so profound.  You can read about it and people can tell you about it, but for me, until I actually "experience" it for myself, it is not truly understood. This morning I was listening to a CD by Michael Singer.  Michael is a yogi who wrote the book "The Untethered Soul" which is one of my top 10 recommended books.  In the series of CD's, Michael gives a lecture on the book and the major themes.  (He is not reading from the book)  This morning I randomly listened to one of the CDs in which he talked about going through the stuff that is hard for us, that makes us uncomfortable, that irritates us....because that's where our next area of growth or breakthrough lies.  These are areas where we are blocked.  It is our work to "unblock" those areas.   It is not our purpose to stay protected and comfortable in a little cocoon.  By reaching out to experience those areas of our lives that are uncomfortable...is how we reach to the next level of our own journey toward transcendence and peace.  This helped me so much.  It was a direct correlation to the experience I had in yoga.  It helped me remember that all of this "stuff" that I am going through right now is good!  It is the stuff I need to work on.  I don't need to get all caught up in the story in my head or try to resist it or run away from it.  So cool.  Thank you Michael Singer!!

If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend that you give it it a try.  If it is not the right time for you, that's okay too.  But, you'll never know unless you give it a try.
Chapters - Untethered Soul
Amazon.com - Untethered Soul

I'm off to the studio to do some work, take a class and then teach a class later on this evening.  What a life.


Namaste,


Colleen