"This is Where the Magic Happens"
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| Our Hot Yoga Room - Look at the Chandeliers! |
It is hard to believe that I have been living in this hotel, doing this intense training, for a month! Many days I have felt homesick and sad. A month is a long time to be away from home. I miss my little dog, Baci! I am starting to feel tired and my body is reminding me of it every day! There are also wonderful moments, new friendships and new lessons learned.
Rajashree (Bikram's wife) says that Week 4 is the time when all of the stored emotions come out and old injuries surface in the body. Well, was she ever right! I have felt like crying almost every day. In one yoga class, she asked how many people have cried in class? "Is there crying?" (My hand went up...along with about half of the room.) "Good!" She says, "Let the crying come out. It is good for you. This is stored pain from the past." The she asked how many people feel anger during the yoga? At least a third of the room raised a hand. "This is good" she says. For most people, it is hard to understand how anger or crying in yoga class would be a good thing.
Rajashree was right about old injuries, as well. Working 20 years in an office, at a desk job has taken a toll on my neck, shoulders and hips. This past week, my shoulders have been really bothering me. It feels like there is a hot poker in my left shoulder blade all day! One class, the pain was so intense, that I had to sit out the postures that require lifting your arms up in front of the body or over head. (This is almost the whole class!) Emmy Cleaves told us that the "Stress Monkey" likes to sit on the shoulders. So, I knew that this was not an injury. I was experiencing years of old stress (and maybe a little new stress). Although I knew that I didn't have to worry about it...it still bothered me every day this week. The pain felt real (and still does) to me; my muscles were tight, tight, tight!
As I mentioned earlier, Bikram has been away for a couple of weeks. He returned to teach one class on Thursday. I was concerned, because my shoulder was at its worst that morning. How was I going to make it through a Bikram class? There was no way that I could just lie down or not lift my arms in Bikram's class! (I have heard him shout and yell at students from the podium. I did not want that to be me!) Just class started, a thought came into my mind: "Bikram would heal my shoulders and I would be fine." I'm not sure where this thought came from, but it transformed me in the moment. This was just emotional/mental pain...not an injury, so it could be released through yoga. Amazingly, we started the breathing exercise (which all week had been so painful) and I didn't feel any pain at all. It seemed that there was only one point of focus from Bikram. "Lift the chest." Over and over...."Lift the chest!" No pain in my shoulders. I completed the whole class...no pain. It was one of our hottest classes, too. Students were leaving the room and visiting teachers were dropping like flies...everyone was dying from the heat. I didn't feel a thing. I felt great. I was free of pain. I had a great class.
Things like this are very hard to explain. How does a middle aged woman with a tight, stiff body and chronic shoulder pain make it through a HOT Bikram class, while amazing yogi's all around...with beautiful, young, strong, flexible bodies...just collapse under the heat? Was this Bikram's Yogic healing power or was it my mind believing and letting go? Maybe a bit of both? A wonderful experience either way. Don't get attached to the pain.
(The pain returned in the evening lecture...but not as intense as before. Just a dull ache now. I feel that I can ignore it...let it go...it will pass or not.)
Lessons in Love
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| John Salvatore |
That very morning, I was feeling quite annoyed with everyone. I was especially annoyed with the guy beside me in class. While I went out of the room for a minute, he moved my mat! I came back and my mat was in a completely different place. (This was not the first time this had happened) He moved it so that he could have a better spot in front of the mirror. Now, I had the spot with the cracks in the mirror and my mat was about two inches away from my neighbour. Then, John Salvatore came in the room with his speech about love and this amazing, energetic, funny, inspirational class. About half way through class, I looked over at the guy beside me and our eyes met in the mirror. My anger was transformed. I felt totally different about him. The anger disappeared and I felt so much love for him. How could I ever have been mad at him for moving my mat? It seemed so crazy. Everything changed in that moment. We smiled at each other and I felt love for him. I felt so much love for everyone in the room. Thoughts are powerful. Transform your thoughts and you'll transform your life.
I am watching our many guest teachers and thinking about what kind of teacher I will be. One thing I know for sure....I want to be a teacher that teaches from a place of love. I want to remind everyone to be kind to themselves, to learn to love themselves and from there...they can love everyone around them.
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| My New Friends: Kat and Jane, from the UK |
Much Love....Namaste
So good to hear your news colleen, yes, the room teaches us about ourselves more than anything else. If you stay alert you will see the miracles around you everyday. lots and lots of love... see you in one week!!
ReplyDeleteDebxoxoxo
Oh Bean
ReplyDeleteYour blog is so wonderful to read. You are learning to trust the process of healing . This experience is so much more than learning to be a teacher of 26/2.
Love and miss you :)
Claire